Alright, I've got a new system in place for the shirts which is sure to satisfy everybody. Instead of making individual products, where I pick out the style and the corresponding design, I now have it set up so that you can just pick out your favorite shmee and stick it on whatever product you want, in whatever size, and in whatever color.
"What, what?", you might say, "That's all well and good, but last time I checked there was only one true shmee and he was called the 'Shmee Tee'! I'll have none of this heresy!" Well, I appreciate your zeal, but the truth of the matter is that the shmee is destined for bigger and better things. You see, the shmee is like tofu.
Bear with me.
As he stands, he's very good for your health. But over time, he gets a little bland, and you start to wonder why you're not eating chicken and chorizos. That's where the sauce comes in. Like the predator, tofu blends in perfectly with its surroundings and has heat seeking vision that it uses to hunt down Jesse the body and Arnold Schwarzenegger. The analogy dies here, but I think you get my point.
It is with great pleasure that I introduce the 1st wave of the new shmee collection: Able Seaman Shmee, Celebrity Shmee, Bookworm Shmee, Voyageur Shmee, Legionary Shmee, and Nekkid Shmee.
If you see one you like and you want to pick it out, follow this link, or the link on the side, and type in "blarbus" in the design search bar. They should all pop right up. After that, you just choose the product you want to attach it to, put it where you want, and order it just like you would at the blarbus storefront. The site lets you add text, so you could even give them little captions if you wanted to. You have my blessing.
Hundreds, perhaps thousands, are still to come.
So fire up the puter and get to work on that great American novel, because the only thing that's physically separating your idea from your sexy masterpiece on the shelf is about eighteen dollars (plus shipping and handling).
